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I'm an addict. I don't want to be one but I am. I've known for awhile. I've accepted it. Now I just wish I can stop it.
I started this blog because writing down how I feel about my addiction helps me understand and cope with this burden. I'm not a writer, journalist, english major, or anything like that. My grammar and spelling is less than perfect. And sometimes my brain dictates faster than my fingers can type so there may be skipped words. So if you're reading this and it's making absolutely no sense, well it's because my addict brain can't think right anymore.
I'm a 46 year old female. I'm addicted to slot machines. I was introduced to the slots about 10 years ago. I hated it at first because it was a waste of money. It still is. I didn't win at first. And I didn't understand it at all. Too many pay lines...it confused me. The first few times I went, it was very boring. I just went along with my in-laws.
But I got my first win and I was hooked. 10 years now of depositing my hard earned money in the slot. At first I was loosing $50 a week. That was a lot for me then. Now, it's $1000 a week. Hard to believe isn't it? You're probably wondering where I'm getting the money from. I get paid well and I don't pay the bills. Not because I don't have any. I have bills. I just don't pay them, occassionally. Because I put the money in the slots instead of paying the bills. I'm just like any regular person. I have a mortgage, gas, electricity, internet, car, payments. The works. I pay once in a while so that I don't get disconnected. My mortgage doesn't get paid on time, but it gets paid...not on time. Sometimes grocery runs out. Sometimes for two weeks I only have $20 in my pocket. Hopefully, I don't run out of gas in my car.
I get paid a lot of money but I live like a poor person. I don't buy clothes. I haven't had a haircut in a while. My shoes has seen better days. My house needs a lot of fixings but I can't afford it. I haven't gone on a vacation since...I can't remember when.
Pathetic isn't it? Completely pathetic!!!
But I don't think any of that when I have money and I'm sitting in front of my favorite slot machine. All I can think of is getting the bonus round. The bonus round...ahhh